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We are light

I was having a philosophical/metaphysical conversation with a friend of mine and I wrote this to them and I liked it so much that I wanted to put it here.

It's [god, the universe, the divine, whatever you want to call it] us and runs through everyone and everything and it's all combined. We're all interconnected on a particle level that manifests itself through (and as) light.

My sister always reminds me that we're not human beings. We are light beings that inhabit a human body. Just like a flower or an animal is also a light being that inhabits a plant or an animal body.

I really like that. I like thinking of myself as a light being. It makes it easier for me to disconnect from this body (that I feel is such a shackle sometimes.)

It also reminds me that we are all one. We all mingle like the particles of dust that shine through a sunlit window. No one light is better or worse than any one other light--just different, but still beautiful just the same.

Sometimes I do think our lights get dimmed, muddled, stuck in a horrible cluster. I also sometimes think that the dark, dimmed, shattered lights are drawn to the bright lights in the hopes of regaining their brightness. I don't think it's intentional. It's just wanting to return to what it knows it should be and it clings to those bright lights in hope of finding its way back.

I also think certain lights are drawn towards each other and they can group together. And when lights combine together and draw together, well, we have a little galaxy of light bodies, don't we?

My friends and I form a galaxy of lights, yet we are still part of the greater universe. And each set of galaxies that form are just as beautiful and are no better or no worse than any other galaxy.

So here we are, earth bound light bodies encased in all different kinds of shells. We are floating lights and galaxies on this planet. We are singular, in that our light bodies are made up of millions of little lights that are individual to us, yet part of the beautiful whole.

How wonderful is that?
So hokay, the awesome bootlicks asked me why I'm homeschooling, and I thought I'd just post it in case anyone else was wondering.

My desire to homeschool started when I was in kindergarten. LOL

Seriously, going to school was one of the most scarring and traumatic things to happen in my life. And I went to private school, public school, vocational school, and University and it all fucking sucked. Didn't matter what type of schooling it was. Although, I have to say that the private Christian school was the worst. I've never met meaner, more judgmental, cruel people in my life (pentecostal) and that includes the adults.

Anyway, I went to University to get a degree in teaching so that a child would NEVER feel how I felt during school--at least while they were in my classroom. And I do believe that there are teachers out there that LOVE their job and their students and what they do. I've had a few of those teachers, but they are far and few between.

Basically I think the public school system sucks because: and let the ranting beginCollapse )

So there is a VERY long answer as to why I homeschool.
This is actually a pretty nifty meme. One I haven't seen before.

Rules: Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. You can't use the band I used. Try not to repeat a song title. It's a lot harder than you think! Repost as "my life according to (band name)".

Pick your Artist
Damien Rice

Are you a male or female?
Baby Sister

Describe yourself:
The Blower's Daughter

How do you feel:

Describe where you currently live:
Grey room

If you could go anywhere, where would you go?

Your favourite form of transportation:

Your best friend?
Woman Like a Man

You and your best friends are:

What's the weather like:

Favourite time of day:
Silent Night

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called:
I Remember

What is life to you:

Your relationship:
Be My Husband

Your fear:
The Animals Were Gone

What is the best advice you have to give:
Sleep, Don't Weep

Thought for the Day:
Cheers Darlin'

How I would like to die:
Cold Water

My soul's present condition:
Rootless Tree

My motto:
Then Go

Ego through science

I saw this video on miss_dazey's journal and it just moved me so much and made me think, and I LOVE stuff that does that. So I had to share it with all of you.

It's a little longish, but REALLY worth watching.

I've seen this woman before, but I've never heard her really speak in depth about what going through the stroke was like. I thought it was absolutely fascinating from a scientific perspective what happens when you completely end up functioning without your ego. I mean, her ego went out the window when her left hemisphere was being impacted by this blood clot. And the way she describes what her energy and her body felt like was just amazing.

I've heard great spiritual teachers and philosophers talk about the ego and trying to detach from it, but to hear it from a medical perspective as to what happens when your ego just disappears did something to me. It's all great in THEORY when spiritual people and philosophers talk about detaching from the ego, but the reality of actually doing it is much harder (in my opinion). I always saw detaching from your ego as some abstract, esoteric non-thing that you were trying to maneuver around. But to know that it really is a mere function of the brain and it is just a thought made it easier for me to say "okay, i can let go of this. I can function more from my right hemisphere and it is just a choice. It is as simple as ignoring the part of the left hemisphere that has ego."

Basically she said that your ego--that part of you that judges and tells you where you failed, and what you should be doing...etc is the analytical, logical, part of your brain (the left hemisphere), and when it's "acting up" (being over analytical, judgmental, critical..etc) all it's doing is yelling at the right hemisphere because the right hemisphere isn't doing things in an exact orderly fashion as the left hemisphere would like. And as even more of an assault on the left hemisphere, the right hemisphere is sitting there giving the left hemisphere the finger because it really doesn't give a shit what it has to say.

So in my head, when I hear my ego come in, I'm actually seeing my left hemisphere bitching at my right and it's very easy for me to envision my right hemisphere going "um yeah dude, fuck off."

What was even more inspiring to me was how she saw herself when the left hemisphere of her brain was not functioning. She said she saw herself as something so expansive and beautiful and part of everyone else and so connected. It was just so inspirational and comforting to me.

I ran out and got her book and am really looking forward to reading it.

I'm gonna cross post this to my Dreamwidth journal. I'm using that one over there for public posts only. I also have a dreamwidth code if anyone wants to join.

I'm gonna make another post after this one that's a friends only post because I have some other stuff to share. :)

The Destructive Ego

I've written about Ego before and how destructive your ego can be when you function purely in that space. I was sent some articles about ego and detaching from it and how people view it. Especially in comparison to Eastern vs Western culture.

Personally, I've found that the moments in my life where I'm feeling the worst are generally caused by my ego. The ego affects how you perceive, and how you react to life.

I've seen this happen in myself, friends, family, everyone I've met. We all struggle with ego from time to time. Some more than others--like narcissists who function only from the ego. What's weird about narcissists (who would seemingly have very high self esteem because they're all about ego) is that they are so empty and completely lack self-esteem. They are constantly striving to have their ego filled by externals and everything relates back to them; everything has to do with them. It's never about anyone else. They feel *this* way, so everyone else must feel that way as well. This is because they see everyone as merely an extension of themselves and/or because they are functioning only from their ego, they can't possibly perceive that not everything is about them. Prime example is my dad.

I used to be VERY stuck in my ego. I still am from time to time. Everyone gets that way. But I used to take EVERYTHING personally. I read into things that people said and did that had nothing to do with me at all and I used to get pissy, hurt, and angry all the time and wondered why everyone was mean to me so much. The reality of it was that *I* hated me. They said something that hit an owie spot in me--something I THOUGHT ABOUT MYSELF as a negative, and I blame-shifted it to that person and took it as a slight on me. When in actuality, what someone said or did had nothing to do with me at all. Why was I like that? Because I was functioning from my ego and was insecure and had low self esteem. And to be honest, I was immature and emotionally stunted. The hope is that you see when you are getting stuck there and you work to remove yourself from it. Since I have been able to disengage with my ego, I am hurt much much less. I don't function from that place anymore. It's not to say that I don't have my bad days. But by and large, I'm not paranoid and thinking that everything is all about me and I have to be on guard. My self-esteem is good and my ego (for the most part) has checked out.

What sucks is when you don't even know you're stuck functioning from your ego, or when you see someone you love functioning from that place and you can't help them.

How you can tell your ego is running the showCollapse )

Those are just a few examples of how functioning only from an egoistic perspective can hurt yourself and often times hurt others. So the question is, how to detach from the ego?

This is where I find it extremely interesting in comparison to Eastern vs Western thinking about the ego.

Generally, Western thinking views the Ego as a "thing." It's this thing that needs to be squashed, kept at bay, sublimated, conquered. Whereas the Eastern thought is that the ego is not real. An illusion.

If you view the ego as the way Easterners do, then detaching from your ego becomes extremely easy. I equate it to Peter Pan. If any of you have seen the old Disney Peter Pan movie. He's chasing his shadow and Wendy sews it back on. That's very Western. His shadow is his ego--a thing that he literally NEEDS and wants and attaches himself back to. But if you look at it from an Eastern standpoint, it's simply your shadow. It's not YOU. It's an illusion of you.

I was reading This Article and I found her ideas very interesting. This is an excerpt from a Q&A she had (she speaks in 3rd person, so she refers to herself as her name; Amma):

Q&A snipit under hereCollapse )

This has been extremely helpful for me. To not see the ego as a *thing* and something to get over, conquer, get rid of, but to see is as a mere shadow on the ground or an illusion in a cloud makes it so much easier. If you can keep your mind in this place of the ego being an illusion, then hopefully you won't suffer from all the negative aspects the ego can do to you.

This is also a very helpful article called What your ego is and how to stop it from obscuring your inner peace and unconditional love. Although this article talks more about the ego from the standpoint of a "thing" it's still helpful on how to cope with it when it tries to take over. What's funny to me, is in this article, they tell you to let the thought pass through. When it doesn't pass through and your ego obsesses about it, it starts to manifest itself it all kinds of negative ways. They tell you the way to not have this happen it to let the thought pass through. It's similar to the Eastern thought, except that the ego is an illusion. But the ironic/funny part to me is the way to handle it is the same. Whether you view it as a thing or an illusion the end result is the same: Ignore it. Let it pass through as a thing or an illusion (depending on which you prefer) and ignore it. This is ironical to me, because this is EXACTLY how you deal with a narcissist or with someone who has NPD! So basically, the ego is a narcissist and has NPD! Bwhahahahah!!

I hope this was helpful to you. I know it was for me and it was something that I spiraled for help with and the answers came to me.

Thank you again Universe (and sister for passing along the article)!


Friends Cut

If you don't see anything after this entry then you've been cut.

As always, thanks for giving our friendship a go on LJ. I wish you the best. :)

Stolen from spiced_chai


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Friends cut

I'm doing a friends cut. I hate these things. If I feel we're not jiving and there's not some give and take going on, then I'm gonna cut. No hard feelings.

Thanks for giving my LJ friendship a try.

As always, if you don't see a post after this one, it means you've been cut. I wish you the best!